Oh, boy.........
....where do I even start.
2011 was the worst year of my life. 2012 might be even worse, it's been downright awful so far. And I keep meaning to write about it, because writing helps me to think about it, but I relly just don't feel I have any energy anymore.
That, and most of my friends have moved off from Livejournal entirely.
But I guess, if anything, this gives me just a little bit of venting privacy. Of course, this is a public entry, so it's not actually private. But I don't expect many people are going to read this. If you are in fact reading this, congratulations! You win my whining.
Okay well. It would take too long to really explain what's going on. But the fact of the matter is, I am once again stuck in Brazil. Because I'm a huge dumbass and I had a bit of a mental breakdown and called my mom on the last day of Summer finals and sobbed my heart out until I was raw. And of course the only thing to do was to move back. And I hate it. I hate it!
I love Brazil, don't get me wrong. But I can' LIVE here. I miss California so much. I miss Los Angeles. I miss Burbank. I miss being able to drive places and get around and see my friends and just...
Los Angeles.
Every time I land there, when the plane flies low, I press my face against the window and watch the city pulse with life.
It's a city that calls to me, sings to me, it's my home.
And as much as I love Brazil, it is not my home anymore. It was my home when I was a kid. But now...
I miss my friends tremendously. I have no friends in Brazil. I'm lonely. I'm desperate. I have no one to talk to, no one to hang out with, no one to share laughs with.
Sure, I have the internet. I can talk to people on skype and aim and tumblr and twitter. (and LJ, but everyone left). But it's not the same thing. I want hugs. I want sleepovers. I want to be there...
...I think I'll cut this post here before I start to cry again.
2011 was the worst year of my life. 2012 might be even worse, it's been downright awful so far. And I keep meaning to write about it, because writing helps me to think about it, but I relly just don't feel I have any energy anymore.
That, and most of my friends have moved off from Livejournal entirely.
But I guess, if anything, this gives me just a little bit of venting privacy. Of course, this is a public entry, so it's not actually private. But I don't expect many people are going to read this. If you are in fact reading this, congratulations! You win my whining.
Okay well. It would take too long to really explain what's going on. But the fact of the matter is, I am once again stuck in Brazil. Because I'm a huge dumbass and I had a bit of a mental breakdown and called my mom on the last day of Summer finals and sobbed my heart out until I was raw. And of course the only thing to do was to move back. And I hate it. I hate it!
I love Brazil, don't get me wrong. But I can' LIVE here. I miss California so much. I miss Los Angeles. I miss Burbank. I miss being able to drive places and get around and see my friends and just...
Los Angeles.
Every time I land there, when the plane flies low, I press my face against the window and watch the city pulse with life.
It's a city that calls to me, sings to me, it's my home.
And as much as I love Brazil, it is not my home anymore. It was my home when I was a kid. But now...
I miss my friends tremendously. I have no friends in Brazil. I'm lonely. I'm desperate. I have no one to talk to, no one to hang out with, no one to share laughs with.
Sure, I have the internet. I can talk to people on skype and aim and tumblr and twitter. (and LJ, but everyone left). But it's not the same thing. I want hugs. I want sleepovers. I want to be there...
...I think I'll cut this post here before I start to cry again.